Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
