Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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