Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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