What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
