sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
false alarm, still single
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
