we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You are the jesus of drinking
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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