Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
