is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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