her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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