Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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