I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
did you just send me my own nude
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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