WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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