Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
