Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
