You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Farmville is her only friend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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