I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
