she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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