There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
