Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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