I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
