I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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