Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
