It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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