Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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