party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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