Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
