I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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