When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
