grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
