The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize