So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
