There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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