he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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