dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
