Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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