google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It's blow job season.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
