You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
