Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
