we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
