I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize