Swine flu is the new snow day.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
