you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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