these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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