tell your sister to shave her snatch
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
