I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
