i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
