Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
