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Fuck
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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