I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
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He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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