I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
