Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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