Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
