do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
