doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
