so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
