She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
