and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
