She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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