Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
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She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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